Saturday, October 23, 2010

It hits home, very hard (Part 2)

I usually write an article, I take a break for two days and then write another article. Since that last one I wrote on Friday, I could not close my eyes the whole Shabbos! Every time I closed my eyes, I saw this picture in my head and jumped up a mile. If you think, I am joking, think again. I promise you that I did not sleep 15 minutes at one time this whole Shabbos! I tried to forget about it, but it did not work! I tried to sit by my table with my grand children and sing the Shabbos songs, I tried to play with them, I tried to do everything BUT to think about this boy, but I failed!

Every time I looked at my two grandchildren by the Shabbos table, my mind wandered to the picture of this 16-year-old boy from Canada. Every time I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep, my mind wandered to the picture of this 16-year-old boy from Canada. Every time I looked into the siddur or chumish in shul, my mind wandered to the picture of this 16-year-old boy from Canada. Every conversation I tried having with my friends in shul, somehow ended up discussing this 16-year-old boy from Canada.

At 3 am on Friday night as I was tossing and turning, I got out of bed and went outside on the porch to cool off and try to calm down. I was sure I was going to see 300 other people on the porches standing there the same way I did, crying and  painfully thinking about this pure little shefeleh Berish . Of course it was quiet out there it was just me and the black sky and some chirping of the birds. I sat there for 30 minutes with tears flowing down my cheek for this innocent victim, for the pain he went through, for the pain he is in now as we speak, and of course, for the painful journey that awaits his life ahead.

Ladies and Gentleman. Let us be frank here and let us talk to each other. Why do you think I am writing all this? Why do you think I am busy with this blog 24-7? What do I gain out of all this conversations and blogs?  Money? No I don’t make a penny out of this, it only costs me. Fame? No way, I am under anonymous and unidentified name, and am worried everyday, that I should not be discovered “for now”. So what is it? Why am I putting my life out there for this blog?

I will tell you why! Because I know the pain that, a victim endures. I know the pain that is there for eternity! I know the feelings you have when you feel helpless and powerless. I know the feeling of being violated feels like! I know the suicidal thoughts! I know the angry thoughts! I know how crying yourself to sleep every night feels like! I know it all. And most of all, I KNOW THAT WE CAN STOP THIS!

I beg you with everything I got in my heart and soul! Take it upon yourself to look out for your kids. Take it upon yourself to protect your kids! Take it upon yourself to make an effort!  I know friends of mine that go on business trips for 10 days overseas, hoping that something will develop. Is your kid not worth a 15-minute trip to his school? Is your kid not worth a little effort on your part to see if everything is ok? Is your kid not worth that his father should stop saying “Nuchem just talks out of his stomach” and see what Nuchem is really talking about? Is that picture of this 16-year-old boy not a good enough Wake-up-call for you to jump and see what the hell is going on in this community? The fact that there are over a dozen heimishe people sitting in jail for child molestation, not strong enough for you to say I will fight for my kid? WHAT WILL IT TAKE? What else do you need to light a fire under your skin to push you into action?

You are doing it for yourself! Not for anyone else! Ask the father of Lebowitses victims, of Mondrowitses victims, Reichmans victims, Greenfeld victims, and Brauners victims. Ask them what hell they are suffering every single day?  Ask them if they knew then what they know now if they would still be quiet?

The Torah places tremendous importance on "tinokot shel beit rabban"  The talmud teaches, "The world only exists because of the learning of tinokot shel beit rabban," and it also states: "one does not cancel the study sessions of tinokot shel beit rabban even for the building of the Bais hamikdash” (Shabbat 119b). However, fathers and mothers, I ask you? What value does "tinokot shel beit rabban” have if they are being molested and raped? What can these little kinderlach accomplish under these terrible circumstances?  Who will protect them if not their own parents? 

I will end this article with a prayer to hashem, that he should put in our heart a special big dose of strength and health that we should be able to fight this cancerous disease. He should give the right brains in to every parents that they should open their eyes to this great problem and have the strength to fight it. And most of all he should keep an eye out for our little treasures, our little jewels, our tinokot shel beit rabban which the whole world only stands on their behalf.

G-d is my only witness that I have no side agenda with this blog except to see an end to child rape and molestation. I want to see a clean community for my children, grand children and future generations. In addition, I believe that YOU should have the same agenda for your family, and there should be NOTHING holding you back from fighting this sick disease and the terrible people that are the abusers.

I ask every mother to discuss it with their husbands and force them to take action and help us clean the streets, the community and give our kids a better chance of growing up normal and continuing a family free of pain and sorrow.


  1. I must tell you you really made me cry, this bucherel looks sooo sad, you can see the pain on his face, and our baboonem still won't admit that there is a problem. I think that this Glickman should be investigated and if it is really him, he should go join BML.

  2. This is a great article. The agenda is our commitment to prevail.
    A great start is to organize real askunim, from each kehileh, and any known molester should be expelled by cutting his beard and paint his face with unrecoverable paint. and if he reports it to authorities , he should be prosecuted for HIS CRIME!!!

  3. A very very big problem, and it affects us also, because we live today in a very small world, is the EY Yiden who come here every year, for 20 years or more in a row. First, they leave a family behind in EY. I am sure their little kids left behind for long periods of time are being molested, and they in turn then molest others. And the schnorrers themselves, some of them, as that one Shimon Bnisty, are molestors, and I would say most of them are noafim(adulteress). I know what I am talking, for I know the children of the schnorrers, and to say the least, they are abnormal because there was no father to give them a normal upbringing.

  4. i thought when you said the sixteedn year old boy i thpught you meant the boy from winnepeg who killed himself after nbeing molested by pesach krohns brother in law bryks a rabbi in queens

    then i read further and find out that this a another frum boy

    when will this all end . i believe we need to publish a list of rabbis who know and did nothing and not let them get speaking engagements and protest them when they speak

  5. You should win a Pulitzer award for your articles and a “hero of the decade” award for your heart and “Mesiras nefesh” you put into this effort.

    Please don’t give up and please continue to drive your point across our community. Every single day more and more people get educated and see whats going on and that we must unite to fight the pedophilia on our streets. You are a hero and so is R’ Nuchem.

  6. I still cannot understand why this poor boys identity and picture was revealed. Please explain.

  7. Well, it was done for good reason, and it was done with the permission of professionals and physiologists, and it was very much necessary.

    But I wonder how you are stuck on this point? That’s all that you take out of this post? Does not the main story bother you?

  8. At 3am in the morning when you sat outside your porch under the black sky crying and you heard the birds chirp, I wonder how made up is your sobbing story. There are no birds outside so early at 3am chirping away.

  9. Amazing point! You just caught me! Do I have to resign, Or can I continue with this blog? I knew it was going to take 2-3 days and you guys will have something to say! I was just wondering what it would be, but this is a good one. There are no birds at 3am! You got me good!

  10. once again i believe you need to publ;ish a list of the do nothing rabbis

  11. hmmm... the grasshoppers middle-of-the-night chriping is so easy to confuse with the birds'... but alas, they got you. Aw shucks.

    Our team lost a point. 99 to 1... :P

  12. Your heartrending stories and your sincerity for a molested child is all for the birds. When Moshiach comes and it is coming soon ( no thanks to Nuchem ) the worthy Jews will fly on the wings of an eagle. As far as you and Nuchem are concerned you guys ain't going to Moshiach but instead you will have the droppings of the birds all over your heads.

  13. I am very much disturbed by the plight of this poor bucher as I experienced sexual abuse in my formative years. It is exactly why I am concerned that this bocher's privacy was not respected. In my view exposing the identity of a victim is tantamount to revictimization. However, given the complexities of such situations I realize that strange actions can and will be called for. Therefore I ask for an explanaition as to why this was necessary. Isn't the protection of an already suffering minor an absolute necessity? Can I have a normal dialogue on this issue and not vague innuendo. I f such public action is neceesary should not the public be informed as to the circumstances that require such a decision? If we arent told then some may decide to expose victims for the wrong reasons.

  14. Very valid point! 99.9% of the time the victims name is not disclosed and never before has Rabbi Nuchem disclosed a victims name and there was an exception here for many reasons. Having said that, I don’t feel I need to disclose the reason to the public and will explain why:

    This public that I am writing to and posting for, are not involved with protecting molesters, they are not involved in dealing with victims. These are people that I am trying to educate the necessity of this issue, and its not like tomorrow they will get up and start disclosing names of victims. Most people here are still from the “Old school” where you push everything under the rug, and trying to destroy everything that is done to expose molesters. For example I wrote two articles about this 16 year old boy and all they can come up with is that at 3 am in the morning there are no birds chirping and in their childish minds they are so proud of themselves that they made a mockery out of my story.

    These people are so naïve and “left back” in their way of thinking; they don’t even realize how they are viewed in the “Jewish outside world”. They are so into their old ways of hush hush and push under the rug that this whole issue of predators and pedophilia is a second thought for them, and that exactly why I don’t have to disclose for them why the professionals decided to disclose this boys name.

    Keep in mind I am not the one that posted the picture in the first place. Rabbi Nuchem did it on his blog and it was done with the encouragement and approval of psychologists and professionals, and that is good enough for me to rely on their expertise without me having to give an explanation for every individual.

    Part of the problem in our community as well, is the fact that a “doctor or professional” has no value by us. Because we are smarter we are too big to listen to some college-educated American boy. Well, that’s too bad, the fact that a professional said that it is ok to do, that should be a good enough reason for you to accept it and move on.

  15. i firmly believe that there was aneed to publish the names

    perhaps you would like to publish a list of people who never asked a dr any questions regarding molesters lets publish a list of the enablers and protecters and an explanation of why they cover this stuff up

    wake up klal yisroel this is an epidemic

  16. Ok. I read your respone to my question very carefully. Although u never answered any of my concerns I will concede that I can see at least 1 very good possible reason for the expose. If the family sent down the brother in law to do a coverup of the rabbi/molester under the guise of protecting the victim so he can do a shidduch hence letting the abuser off the hook then the logical response would be to blow the cover off of this and say "who are you protecting now". It's controversial put the logic would pass muster. Having said this, I will concede that you will not answer my inquiry and I'll just quit ramming my head into the wall.
    For what its worth, I'm no old-school ignoramus in need of an education on this topic. I've been up to my neck in this battle from back when Vikki and UOJ (2 good freinds of mine) were the only kids on the block. AND HECK, IM COZILY ENSCONCED IN THE CHASSIDISHE WORLD WITH FOLKS DYING TO KNOW WHO I AM AND HOW THE HECK I PULL OFF SO MUCH TROUBLE. This is the best therapy one can get.