The Talmud teaches us ואל תדון את חברך עד שתגיע למקומו “don't judge your friend until you are in his place”. People wonder why victims are still angry 20 and 30 years later? Why bring up stories of people that are dead already? Why not just move on? Let it go and continue with your life!
Well it is impossible to explain this to someone who is lucky enough not to go through this pain, let me show you a video and an article of a victim, perhaps that will open your mind and get a glimpse of pain that a human can have, and why it is so necessary to get closure and healing.
Warning: Video contains foul language
The case cannot be prosecuted because the statute of limitations for such a crime has passed.
(Sept. 21) -- A New York Web designer obsessed with finding the person who molested him 40 years ago finally tracked down and confronted his alleged attacker. Then the man admitted to the sexual assaults in a covert videotape that is now on YouTube.
Ron Tebo, 47, says he and one of his three younger sisters were sexually assaulted in 1970 by a teenage neighbor nicknamed "Butch," who brought a brother along as a lookout. The attack happened inside a 1957 Ford Fairlane parked in the back of Tebo's home in a small town in rural New York.
Tebo says he was assaulted several other times by Butch but never told his single mother or grandmother. After helping track down a pedophile in California, he decided to aggressively seek out his own attacker in 2007. By then, his mother and grandmother had died and wouldn't have to endure the pain of that long-ago incident.
So the next best thing in Tebo's mind would be to expose Butch to the world, which Tebo has done on awebsite titled "Finding Butch -- one man's journey to find the neighbor who abused him." Tebo has posted an 11-minute video of his confrontation with Butch, who still lives not far from their boyhood homes. AOL News has an abbreviated version of this tape and has blurred the face of Butch.
"When I found him, I was scared," Tebo told AOL News. "How was I going to spring this on him? My intention was to get a confession, that's what I wanted to do, that was my goal."
In the tape, made last month, Tebo interrogates Butch, who says, "Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to do. I'm sorry, I truly am. I moved on with my life and I hope you made something of yours and I'm sorry."
The man is asked how many of Tebo's sisters he molested.
"One of them," Butch replies.
Butch is also asked if he remembered a car parked on the property. He acknowledges that it was a Ford Fairlane. He apologizes numerous times, saying he has children and has turned his life around.
Calls to Butch seeking comment were not returned.
Investigator Tom Spulecki with the New York State Police Department said he spoke to Tebo about the case and then contacted the Erie County District Attorney's Office, but was told the case could not be filed.
"It was their decision that they couldn't take it any further," Spulecki told AOL News.
The law changed in 2006, eliminating the statute of limitations on certain sex crimes, but it is not retroactive.
"Of course it's frustrating," said DA bureau chief Rosanne Johnson of her inability to prosecute old sex crimes even though she may have confessions.
"One of our last conversations was that he wanted some closure and wasn't sure what he would do when he found him," Spulecki said of Tebo.
But in the wake of confronting his alleged attacker, Tebo has decided to forge ahead and see if Butch had molested anyone else. Tebo also seeks to help other molestation victims find closure by helping them confront their emotions.
A Web designer, Tebo stepped into the spotlight in 2007, when he began tracking down Jack McClellan, an admitted pedophile who cruised the West Coast and talked openly about his exploits on a website, Seattle-Tacoma-Everett Girl Love.
An anti-McClellan website hosted by Tebo hit the Internet and pretty soon mass-media exposure from "Larry King Live," Fox News, and CNN led to McClellan's arrest outside a Los Angeles child day care center. That's when Tebo decided to confront his own attacker and began his quest in earnest. He went back to his old neighborhood and found Butch's house, which was vacant and in foreclosure. But the property had an important clue: Butch's family name was still on the mailbox.
Tebo went through property records to obtain a first name. First he found the name of Butch's father, then he trolled the Internet until he found the man's obituary, which had Butch's real name listed as next of kin. After that, Tebo just knocked on doors until he got leads as to where the man might be living, which wasn't very far away.
The final puzzle piece was just a coincidence when Tebo obtained a client in the area where Butch lived.
"I just happened to ask her if she knew this man, and she said he worked for her and she would take me to where he was," Tebo said.